Financial support

Worth budgeting for from the outset: complications during the process can raise the cost, and so can a second journey later on if you want to expand the family again.

Broadly there are three routes — borrowing on better terms, applying for a grant, and asking your employer. Most families end up combining them.

Borrowing

Terms vary by country and by bank. Some parents take a second mortgage; others take a straightforward loan.

One option worth checking before anything else: borrowing against an education fund or a pension usually carries a markedly lower interest rate than a consumer loan.

Grants

Mostly non-profits, each with its own criteria, its own ceiling and its own calendar. Before you spend an evening on application forms, read the Open to label at the end of each line: many US grants are limited to residents or citizens, and several require a medical diagnosis of infertility — a bar most gay intended parents do not clear at all, simply because it does not describe their situation.

Open to intended parents outside the United States

• Men Having Babies — founded by an Israeli, and the most directly relevant one here. Its Gay Parenting Assistance Program works in two stages: Stage I is rolling year-round and provides discounts and donated services from participating providers; Stage II is a cash grant awarded once a year. Open to gay men worldwide, including parents who are not American; supporting membership in the organisation is required, and applying itself is free.

Grants for the Jewish community

• Jewish Fertility Foundation — grants covering IVF, frozen embryo transfers and parts of some surrogacy journeys, explicitly open to the LGBTQ+ community. They work through local US communities — Atlanta, Houston, Denver, Detroit, South Florida and others — alongside a national track, and their support groups are open to anyone in the US whether or not you live in one of them. Open to Jewish applicants, community-based within the US.
• Stardust Fertility Foundation — grants for Jewish families and individuals in the Tri-State area, regardless of denomination, sexuality or marital status, surrogacy included. Beyond the money there are discounts at partner clinics and reduced medication pricing. Open to Jewish applicants in New York, New Jersey and Connecticut.

US-based grants

• HelpUsAdopt — grants for adoption and surrogacy, among the larger amounts on this list. Open to LGBTQ+ families in the US.
• Baby Quest Foundation — grants twice yearly for IVF, egg donation and gestational surrogacy. Funds go directly to your clinic or agency rather than to you. Open to US residents under 40 who meet the ASRM definition of infertility.
• Journey to Parenthood — helps couples and individuals build a family. Open to US citizens living in the US and treated by a US fertility specialist.
• Pay It Forward Fertility — assistance at SART-member fertility clinics. Open to no explicit residency limit found, but the assistance is delivered at clinics inside the US.
• Family Formation Charitable Trust — family-building assistance, surrogacy included. Open to criteria are not fully published; check with them directly.
• Life Finds A Way — assistance towards IVF and surrogacy. Open to criteria are not fully published; check with them directly.

One important note

Everything here is information, nothing more. I am not a party to any process with these organisations, I do not represent them, and I have no part in their decisions. The criteria, the amounts, the deadlines and the policies are theirs and are their responsibility, and they change from time to time — sometimes without notice. Check every detail directly on the organisation's own site before relying on it, and do not build a budget on what is written on this page.

Your employer

Since surrogacy became a public conversation, a growing number of companies have added family-building benefits. Sometimes the money comes with no strings; sometimes it is conditional on staying with the company for a period afterwards.

In the United States some employers pay for parts of the process directly or through an insurance plan. Outside the US the more common arrangement is a lump sum paid to the employee.

It is worth asking HR even if nothing is published internally. Several of the parents I have worked with discovered a benefit that existed but had never been used.

Crowdfunding

It works, but it is real work — a landing page, photographs, updates, and a willingness to tell your story publicly. I have written separately about what actually makes a campaign succeed.