Financial support

Worth budgeting for from the outset: complications during the process can raise the cost, and so can a second journey later on if you want to expand the family again.

Broadly there are three routes — borrowing on better terms, applying for a grant, and asking your employer. Most families end up combining them.

Borrowing

Terms vary by country and by bank. Some parents take a second mortgage; others take a straightforward loan.

One option worth checking before anything else: borrowing against an education fund or a pension usually carries a markedly lower interest rate than a consumer loan.

Grants

Mostly non-profits, each with its own criteria, its own ceiling and its own calendar. A few worth knowing:

• Men Having Babies — founded by an Israeli, and the most directly relevant one here. Its Gay Parenting Assistance Program works in two stages: Stage I is rolling year-round and provides discounts and donated services from participating providers; Stage II is a cash grant awarded once a year.
• Baby Quest Foundation — grants twice yearly for IVF, egg donation and gestational surrogacy. Funds go directly to your clinic or agency rather than to you.
• Pay It Forward Fertility — assistance at SART-member fertility clinics.
• Family Formation Charitable Trust — family-building assistance, surrogacy included.
• Journey to Parenthood — helps couples and individuals build a family.
• Life Finds A Way — up to $10,000 towards IVF and surrogacy.

Check each deadline directly on the organisation's site. Cycles move, and a page like this one is always a little behind.

Your employer

Since surrogacy became a public conversation, a growing number of companies have added family-building benefits. Sometimes the money comes with no strings; sometimes it is conditional on staying with the company for a period afterwards.

In the United States some employers pay for parts of the process directly or through an insurance plan. Outside the US the more common arrangement is a lump sum paid to the employee.

It is worth asking HR even if nothing is published internally. Several of the parents I have worked with discovered a benefit that existed but had never been used.

Crowdfunding

It works, but it is real work — a landing page, photographs, updates, and a willingness to tell your story publicly. I have written separately about what actually makes a campaign succeed.