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What will the children call us? How will they tell us apart?

This question preoccupied me long before the birth. The funny thing is that I never thought about it again once the girls were born.

The bottom line is - leave it to the children. They’ll make up nicknames for you (some endearing, some less so), and it’ll all work out. The child psychology approach is also to let the children decide for themselves. They know what’s good for them, so let them decide.

I’ve seen couples who decided beforehand that they’d be called “papi and papa”, “daddy and dad”. It’s also fine, but don’t get hung up on something. Children are creative and will find their own way and it’ll be spontaneous and natural.

It’s important that you don’t push something that sounds fake or forced. If it sounds strange to you, they’ll immediately pick up on it and it’ll become a problem. Go for what sounds and feels natural, call each other by your names and worst-case scenario go for something common like “Aba Erez and Aba Roy” (yeah, that’s my nickname! Aba is Father in Hebrew). Even if my daughters just say “dad”, I’ll always know who they’re referring to according to the situation.

In short, it’s important to create a distinction, but let the children do it on their own. They’ll know who to turn to for sweets, advice, money, or a hug. And that’s what’s important.



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