From my personal experience, and from my experience with many other peoples’ processes, the surrogate’s support system is one of the most important things for a smooth and serene pregnancy, where both you and the surrogate can have peace of mind.
The surrogate’s spouse is very significant in the process. It’s not necessarily important that the surrogate has a spouse, but rather that if she does, they should be present and on board with the process. If the surrogate is not in a relationship, it’s important to check that she has family or friends who live nearby and who can give her the support she’ll need.
The spouse’s role is not only technical. He’s also the one who’ll be there with her and encourage her and go buy her pickles and ice cream in the middle of the night or hold her on an emotional day when you’re on the other side of the world, probably fast asleep.
Sometimes the communication with the surrogate will be through the close family, and I’ve already seen a case where the relationship with the husband was just as close, and often it’s easier to convey messages and ask for advice through him and with him.
It’s also important to remember him and the supporting family when you buy birthday gifts, holiday presents, etc. and also show your gratitude to them, which they rightfully deserve. When you’re in a surrogacy process, like with any pregnancy, the surrogate’s entire family is part of your journey.
