In the vast majority of cases, there will be two different main figures in the surrogacy process:
An egg donor- The woman from whom the eggs are retrieved and who will share some of your future children’s DNA.
A surrogate- The woman who will gestate your fetus in her uterus and give birth to your child/ren.
The egg donor’s part will be shorter and will take part at the beginning of the process, and contact with her is usually more basic and may sometimes even be an anonymous donation. However, from a genetic aspect, she has the greatest impact. Her genes comprise 50% of the embryo (the other 50% is yours), so you’ll also get a lot of information about her family, medical, and personal history.
With the surrogate, however, you’ll have a much longer and deeper connection, from the stage of the legal contracts, getting to know her and her family, the embryo transfer, the pregnancy, and the birth. Your match will be based on shared preferences for how frequently you want to communicate, as well as worldviews during the pregnancy. From my personal experience and from my acquaintance with hundreds of parents, this connection continues for years and is an inseparable part of how your child came into the world.
This is without even getting into the captivating topic of epigenetics and the impact of the surrogate on the child while she is carrying him in her womb. Although it hasn’t yet been proven that there is a genetic effect on the fetus, the surrogate and her lifestyle undoubtedly affects the pregnancy in numerous ways (nutrition, energy, caution during the pregnancy, stress, etc.).
