One of the questions I get most in private messages, almost always hesitantly: "I'm on my own. Is this even possible?" First of all – yes. Unequivocally. U.S. surrogacy is open to single intended parents, many agencies and clinics work with singles routinely, and their numbers grow every year. But there are things worth knowing upfront, because a single parent's journey is similar to a couple's – but not identical.
Start with the practical side: most stages are completely identical – embryos, matching, contract, pregnancy, birth. The differences are in the details. Some agencies and surrogates state preferences about the type of family they'll work with, so it pays to choose an agency experienced with singles – ask directly how many such journeys they've supported in the past two years. On the Israeli side there's one important difference in your favor: as a single parent who is also the genetic parent, the recognition process back home is relatively simple, since there's no second-parent procedure needed.
Now for the side people discuss less – the emotional load. In a couple, when one breaks under the waiting, the other holds steady. When a hard decision has to be made at 2 a.m. with a doctor in Ohio, there's someone to consult. As a single, you do all of it alone – which is why my most important advice is to build your own "team" in advance: a friend or family member who's in the loop on everything, a companion for the birth trip (don't fly to the birth alone! For the hands and for the heart), and the single-parents-by-choice community – which exists, is active, and embraces.
Another practical matter that must be planned: post-birth logistics. A couple splits the nights of those first weeks in the U.S. – waiting for the passport, the flight, settling in at home. A single parent needs a different plan: help that flies with you, a grandmother waiting in Israel, maybe paid help for the first weeks. That's not indulgence; it's infrastructure.
And to the question hovering above it all – "is it fair to the child?" – I'll answer with what I've seen with my own eyes: children thrive in families of every shape. What a child needs is a parent who wants them wholeheartedly, stability and love. Anyone who has reached the point of considering surrogacy as a single person has already done a journey of reflection few people ever do – and that's an excellent starting point for parenthood.
My tip: when choosing a surrogate, look for one who has already supported a single parent or expresses explicit warmth for the idea. The relationship in a single's journey is usually closer and more intensive, and a surrogate who comes to it wholeheartedly is a gift.
